This past weekend I got a letter in the mail from Loyola. I knew what it was when it arrived and had a pretty good idea what it contained. It was a rejection letter for the Schmitt Fellowship. The Schmitt is a fellowship for ABDs that is essentially the same thing as the fellowship I currently hold; it pays you to do nothing but work on your dissertation. One of the best parts of either scholarship is that they cover all school expenses in addition to having a stipend. Therefore, this means that next year I am basically F'd. The History department actually got 3 Schmitt fellowships, which makes it even more frustrating. It's pretty ridiculous that these sorts of things pit colleagues against each other, but oh well. What can you do, right? I saw two of the winners at the Dissertation Writing Group meeting last night and at least those two went to folks that I know and respect (the other winner is a nice enough person, but has been fully funded with no teaching obligations for four years. I mean come on. Spread the wealth a little bit!)
All of this means that now I'm going to be headed back in to the wonderful world of student loans. I threw my name in the hat to pick up a class at Loyola, but I'm sure it's no easy chore for a first time teacher to get one. Even one or two classes per semester would be a huge boon and pretty much keep me on, or close to, my current fiscal situation. More to the point though I'd really like (and need) the teaching experience. If I can't even manage that I'll probably be forced to either take a HUGE loan (which I don't want to do) and/or try to find a part-time job in this current shit economy we find ourselves in.
If I do manage to get a class or two, I have a pretty good feeling that I will get really close to finishing my dissertation in the next year. The only other thing to figure out is when I can get back overseas for a few weeks to fill some research gaps, but I think it's feasible. I spent a few days last week going through some research material, and I think the burn out is starting to fade a little bit. So when I get back from the honeymoon at the end of the month I think I'll be ready to crank out some more writing. I was able to get a page or so written today, which was good.
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5 comments:
Jason,
First things, my heart goes out to you on this. I went through something similar, but unwisely lashed out publicly about it. That lashing, like an improperly handled whip, came back to sting me. I'm still bearing the burden of those loose lips that flapped in frustration. It sounds like you're handling that part a bit better than I did back in 2004-05. If you'll allow me a point of brotherly, collegial advice: make sure you vent ~only~ in front of those you really really trust, and not under the influence of alcohol.
You're spot on with your point about the Dept. pitting colleagues against each other. It actually hurts the Dept. as much as the losers. It also hurts the winners: they feel guilty. You can also take some cold comfort in the fact that even those who get the Schmitt will likely need to supplement their income. It's not as large an award as it should be---compared to other institutions that offer similar packages.
But you'll finish your diss! You'll live tightly, in economic terms. And you won't be alone thanks to this economy. It'll keep you from taking out a gigantic loan. Rather, maybe you'll only need a small one. Finally, you've seen others (MikeN, Justin, me) carry on without full Departmental support, albeit under differing partner support situations.
I hope none of this sounds patronizing. You know me well enough, I believe, that you'll see my comment for what it is: nothing but encouragement---from a deep place of understanding.
Tell me when you're ready to meet up for a beer! I'll send a note with my digits for a man outing.
- Tim
Yes this stinks. I did not get it either. Why? Who knows. I feel bad for you. Do recognize that this is more a reflection of the department and school than your work. How I found out about my rejection was funny too. In a public setting, one of the faculty said: "Oh Justin, I'm so sorry to hear that you did not get the Schmitt." This was the first I'd heard about it but I was forced to act like I already knew. Anyway, you seem to know what you need -- teaching experience and finishing the diss ASAP is the best thing. I guess that is painfully obvious. Keep your head up.
Justin
Jason,
I sympathize and sorry to hear that you didn’t get the Schmitt. However, to reiterate Tim’s point, al three of us managed to finish without departmental or university support. I essentially worked my way through the dissertation process and supplemented with loans. Granted, it’s not easy, but it happens to a lot of people. The good news is, if you pick up the adjunct work at Loyola, that’s a gig that pays very well by part-time standards. You can also contact my former chair at Oakton, Dr. Erick Mann. He has subsidized more than a few Loyola grad students (such as myself and Fran) with adjunct work. I will shoot his e-mail address to you, or you can get it from the Oakton site at http://www.oakton.edu/acad/dept/hispol/history.htm. You should also contact the chairs at DePaul, Dominican, Columbia, and UIC with a cover letter and CV. When I send you an e-mail, I’ll try to find one of my old adjunct cover letters and attach it. As a last resort, you can also contact the appropriate chairs at the City Colleges, but I’d try the above first.
-Mike
Tim, Justin, & Mike, thanks for the encouragement. In hindsight, I was pretty fortunate to get 3 semesters of funding, but it's hard to revert back to the pre-funding way of life. Mike, thanks for the suggestions; I'll look into them as is necessary.
Lunchbox,
One more thing: You might already know this, but you can---so far as I know---apply twice for the Schmitt. So if you're still not done this fall/winter, at the new deadline, I'd give it another try. I received the Schmitt on try #2 (my door prize, as Jodi called it---it was the only funding I received directly from the Dept. the whole time I was there---other than $50 for winning the McCluggage.).
- Tim
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